Here we go, AGAIN. Yet another move.
You’re finally just getting used to being here, you’ve made some friends, gotten involved, started to feel like you’re home.
And it happens. Your parents get transferred, you have to say goodbye, and you start all over. Again.
How many times does this have to happen?
Isn’t anybody ever going to ask you what YOU want? How you feel?
Does anybody even care that you want to stay here?
You get to the point of not even bothering to make friends. You disconnect and isolate. Why bother?
You’ll just move somewhere else again. Against your wishes.
So, you gravitate toward other TCKs, because they, too, will leave.
You grow up like a chameleon.
You fit easily into any culture – you’ve done it so many times. You speak many languages, have an international education.
Sure, it’s exciting and interesting to move between cultures and countries…
But, at the same time, you long for stability. Familiarity.
You’re a master in transitioning and adjusting.
Until it just gets old, and you want to settle down.
You feel lonely.
You dread the question: “Where are you from?” You don’t really know the answer.
Does that mean where you were born? Where you grew up? The country where you spent most of your childhood? Or most of your adolescence?
It’s complicated. You feel like a nomad.
You belong nowhere. Nobody gets it. Except other TCKs.
That’s your culture.
That’s where you belong. The TCK culture.
They’re the only ones who get it.
They’ve all been through it just like you. They get you. You can count on them to be there for you, despite the different time zones.
You bond with them. You all are your own country, your own culture.
Your country is in cyberspace.
That’s where you all go to hang out with each other, no matter where you live.
Because of your upbringing, you may struggle with integrating issues of belonging and identity since you feel that you half-belong to anywhere you live.
Relationship attachment difficulties may also arise as you worked toward not getting attached for so long to make leaving manageable.
You may feel grief, loss, and anger.
But you don’t have to!
Therapy can help with all those issues.
You can also strengthen your resilience by incorporating the positive aspects of multiculturalism and multilingualism in your current and future life.
I get you!
Having worked with expat families and TCKs for over 25 years, and being an expat myself, I know the challenges you face, and the advantages you have, as a TCK.
Call me at (770) 352-0029. Let’s process your issues. You don’t have to do this alone.